Newsletter Edition #4
February Lessons in Gratitude
After living close to the equator over the last couple of years, I will admit that I have missed it’s warmth a few times in the last month. My bones were less achy, my skin tan instead of fluorescent white, and the rain was warm and lovely…
…And yet,
Experiencing the seasons again has also been something that has brought me joy. Watching the leaves turn on the trees and the light change from Summer to Fall, the cold chill of the snow, and the buds beginning to appear on the bushes and trees in preparation of Spring. I feel the awakening of the land from it’s deep slumber all around me, and am reminded that it has always been my favorite time of year.
It is easy to get caught up in what we don’t have or what we want more in our day to day. Finding gratitude in the moment for where we are and what is happening around us is a skill that can help refocus our minds and reduce the suffering when we’re stuck in the mode of “WANT”.
So if you are feeling really done with the dark and wishing for the warmth to be here already, find a moment to go sit with gratitude. You might just find that you are in awe of what you already have in your daily experience.
The Practice of Awareness
In our daily lives we are bombarded by input, and how we handle that input is tied in with the way our minds process information. The way we react to the input depends on how aware we are of the ways it makes us think and feel.
For instance, when we go for a walk in the woods, we take for granted that we know the kinds of trees we are looking at or the names of the birds that are singing, and it is fascinating how quickly our minds process that information. Within a split second our brains receive the input of our senses, and then interpret them to be a “fir tree” or “crow”. This is so second nature to us that we don’t realize it is even happening.
This also happens with our perception of social situations. Our minds look at what is happening, and pull from the past to label the current situation based on experience. However, like the example with identifying the trees or the birds, you can get the label wrong. Maybe the “crow” was actually a Raven, or the “fir tree” was actually a Spruce.
There can be less emotion involved with identifying a tree incorrectly, but in social situations, if you read the room or situation incorrectly there could be emotional consequences. For instance:
Input - Your boss provides feedback how your work is and is not meeting expectations on a project
Interpretation 1- I am going to be fired, I know they have been making a case to let me go. They are always criticizing me!
Maybe you’ve had a past experience with a terrible boss where this was true, or you have another example where you were endlessly criticized despite your efforts. - This interpretation would make sense in that case, AND yet there might be another way to look at it.
Interpretation 2 - I love that my boss is trying to help get me the feedback I need to succeed on this project.. If I try and use their suggestions I might learn a new way to approach these tasks that will make my life easier.
Can you see how your emotional reaction might be different between the options? Interpretation 1 might bring up feelings of anger, defeat, worthlessness, or depression, where Interpretation 2 might energize you, help you to feel appreciated, and like you are worthy of the support and attention.
At iPEC (my coaching school) they introduce the idea of different disciplines that, if practiced regularly, can raise our overall energy and support all our efforts in a more positive way. The first of these 10 disciplines is Awareness.
In the example above, we see the possibility of two different ways of thinking or interpreting the input. It might be ingrained for us to go to interpretation 1 based on our past, and this might push us towards feeling angry and then influence our actions such as quitting our job, or griping to someone else about the unfairness of it all.
If we can practice the discipline of Awareness, we might learn to recognize how our past is influencing our day to day interpretations and take a moment to breathe and consider interpretation 2 instead. In this moment we are creating a conscious choice. If we choose to see the feed back as an opportunity in that split second, the door will then open to us feeling positive and our action might be more aligned with gratitude.
If we can practice creating more awareness of the way we see our world, and the interpretations we are making of its input, the more likely we’ll be able to give a situation the benefit of the doubt, and then choose how to feel about it.
So when you find yourself in a situation that has set you off, ask yourself, “what is it about this that is frustrating me?” and then challenge yourself to create another possible interpretation for the input that might raise your energy from the stress reaction of sadness or anger to one of compassionate understanding or gratitude.
If you’d like to learn more about putting this into practice, I would be honored to be a part of your journey. Just email me at contact@dailychoices.life and we can schedule up a free consultation.
Lens of Loving Compassion
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- Class length 1.5 hours
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