The Keva
I know that we are not the only people on Earth who have been lucky enough to find an animal companion that becomes a part of the family, but we are the ONLY people who were fortunate enough to have a Keva be a part of their pack. There is an important distinction between a Keva and “a dog” that people who did not know her, might not understand…and because she is no longer with us I feel compelled to honor her memory by trying to explain who she was, as best I can so the world knows what it has lost.
Keva is Love. She LOVED everyone, and to her everyone was on the planet just for her to love on. Everyone was her friend. She never once started a fight with another animal, nor did she ever find a person she couldn’t win over with her smile. She was our “Princess” and we were the people she took care of and made whole.
September 2006
I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I drove up the road to the Rescue Every Dog (R.E.D.) headquarters to look at a pup I found online. I had lost my dog Sena only 9 months earlier, and didn’t really feel like I was ready for bringing another one into my life, but these two photos were impossible to ignore. Her eyes just looked right through me, and it was honestly as though I had no choice but to meet her.
Tiami was the woman I met when I arrived, and she brought the little girl out to meet me. I remember how exuberant she was, and how much she wanted to just play and be loved on. Tiami let me know that she had been rescued from death row, and explained that R.E.D. goes to shelters the day before they euthanize who the establishments deem to be unadoptable, and they save all that they can. She said she knew that this one was special, and informed me she wasn’t just going to let her go to anyone who came to see her.
As I played with this little one, I started to second guess myself…was I was ready to “take on another dog”? I didn’t know if I could become attached to and lose another “dog” from my life, and wondered if I was ready to have that responsibility and lose my freedom again. My doubts became so loudly pronounced that I ended up leaving that day without her, but she never ONCE left my mind.
Over the next week I deliberated about whether or not I could step back into being a “dog” owner. I went back and forth with my arguments, I did pros and cons lists, I talked with my friends and co-workers, and all the while the little photos stayed on the petfinder.com website so I knew she was still out there. Finally, I went to conference over in Spokane, and at some point during the weekend we were given some swag from the hosting company…and the item I received was a ball. I looked at that damn thing, and all I could think about was how much fun I could have playing fetch with the little girl I had met the week before. I made my choice.
I called Tiami the next day, and let her know that I wanted to adopt “Kendra” (as she was labeled at the time). She told me that she had thought about me over the week and wondered if I wouldn’t call again. She had a feeling that continuing to see her out there unadopted was probably tough on me. She also told me she had turned down two other families that had asked to adopt her because the fit wasn’t right. I too was vetted for my living situation, and my level of commitment thoroughly before being deemed able to provide a good home to this special girl. A couple days later I went to pick her up, and from then on she was known as the Keva.
A Good Life
I hadn't ever been in charge of raising a 6 month old puppy before, and though I had watched the Dog Whisperer go through his tactics, it was soon evident that I was not him. By night three the crate I had procured was not being used, she would get up on the couch the second I left the house, and our walks we're far from perfect form. Somehow I did manage to have her see me as the one in charge though, and even at that young age she would do ANYTHING to win my favor.
In order for us to train well together, Caesar said she needed to be sufficiently exercised. Due to the nature of my job, I had to be away for most of the day, and even though she had a fence and a dog door, she preferred the alternative of Dog Townsend, heaven on Earth for the canine persuasion. My favorite thing about taking her here was the way they would not only love on her, but give me report cards at the end of everyday on how she did. It was at Dog Townsend that we discovered her love of the HOSE. Almost every report included a hose play reference, and even one included a drawing of her attacking the water with a vengeance.
She loved her time at Dog Townsend, but then when I switched jobs I could no longer afford to take her there as often so she came to work for half days and hung out in the car instead. I would take her for walks at lunch and break times, and I know it wasn’t as exciting for her, but we did go for hikes at Fort Townsend in the evenings to make up for it.
About 6 months later I switched back to my old company, and continued for a while to keep her in the car for half days. This all ended for her though the day the CEO saw me putting her back in the car after one of our walks. He said, “why aren’t you bringing her inside? You have an office don’t you?”, from that day on, Keva’s childhood ended and she started her career as an unofficial therapy dog; she became a company girl.
Keva absolutely ADORED going to work. She got to hang out with her mom all day long and her friends, be given treats by her co-workers, and meet new people. What could be better? When people were having a down day, they would come hang out in my office and by the time they left they were smiling. One of her biggest fans was one of the developmentally disabled employees that worked in our jump rope department. He was known to have occasional mood swings, and would run out of his work space and come to my office to sit and occasionally brood. Keva became the magic that could always pull him out of it though. She would bring him her ball, and before long he would be giggling and watching her play, calling her “Snoop”, his own special pet name for her.
Meeting “Dad”
Jonathan and I met when Keva was about 3 years old, and he lived in this incredible place called “Howeird”. She absolutely loved it there, in part because it was where Jonathan was, and also in part due to this delectable thing called “the compost pile”. The other reason she adored this place was because it often hosted parties known as “schwenkers” where people would come from all around and bring (mostly meat) items to throw on a grill that swung over a fire. There was usually so much food and so many people that meat would be freely given to the adorable black pup who always seemed to be nearby…when she was young she tended to follow the wee ones around because their hot dogs and hamburgers would often be left unattended for a moment at her level.
Dad quickly became the person to follow, and I joked all the time about her being his shadow. Dad was fun, he didn’t let her get away with anything, and he totally and completely adored her. The girl adopted him into the pack and that was it. She would sulk when he wasn’t around, and go into full body wiggles of hello when he showed up. He was her Papa to the very end.
Adventure Girl
We often called Keva our little adventure girl because she totally dug getting in the car and heading to wherever we took her for walks, food, hikes, or beach time. Hanging out with her friends (also known as our friends) meant joyful hellos and food, and soaking up the world. In her lifetime she travelled to the Oregon & California coast, and Northern CA as well as Victoria BC. She hiked the Tuck and Robin trail, went up Mt Zion, Mt Townsend, and Mt Walker multiple times and swam in all the bodies of water in between. Every trail was worth walking and exploring. Every set of stairs encountered while she was out and about had to be climbed, and ground score tennis balls were always a highlight because it turned a walk into fetch time. She loved living life and soaked up every moment for what it was right then.
Home was Where the Heart (and Keva) Was
When Keva was about three years old we moved into her forever home. The big yard seemed to appeal to her, that and the fact that we lived right off the edge of a trail that people walked along all day long. We hadn’t been there very long when one of her past care givers from Dog Townsend moved in next door, and she seemed to recognize her right away. It took us a little while, but we eventually got a schwenker of our own and started to entertain all the people and pups that she loved. On summer days she could be found laying in the shady grass front yard, and in the evenings it was always the front stoop of the house where she chose to lay and survey her world. In her later years, home became the only place she wanted to be and we vowed not to take that from her.
Aging with the Girl
Jonathan and I had always planned on doing more travel and getting to see the world, and then our world became our girl, and the most important thing to us was knowing she was happy. Some people might not understand, but she was our child and at some point leaving her home alone, or with someone else stopped feeling acceptable.
So we respected her wishes and stayed at home with her quite a bit, only taking her to her favorite places, or in the car if she looked at us especially sad when it was clear we were heading out to dinner etc. We celebrated her in every way we could. In the last three years of her life one way we did this was by starting the ritual of making her food ourselves because it seemed to bring her joy to not only eat it, but to watch us make it. The other positive was that she became much healthier almost immediately, and I honestly believe it kept her with us years longer.
Last Days
In her last days, she was determined to still go out for walks, but she no longer went up every set of stairs that was along the way. Her back legs had started to deteriorate due to a degenerative disease, and she was becoming less and less stable. The most unfortunate part of this was that she could no longer come to work with me because my office was on the 2nd floor and the building did not have an elevator…nor could I lift her 54 pounds to carry her the two flights.
So, I did what any loving parent would do and threw her a retirement party at the office, in my mind she deserved it after 10 years of service. I bought decorations and brought in cake and treats for people to give her on her last day. She was given so much love and so many treats that I’m sure she never wanted to leave. It was devastating to me the next day when she got all excited to get up and go with me to work and I couldn’t take her. Disappointing her like that was like a knife in the heart.
Luckily for her, Dad worked at home and she was able to stay with him. Neither of us are sure if it was a bit of senility, or just the fun of making Dad jump, but she took to bashing his office door open multiple times a day to make sure he was there…or perhaps it was to tell him to get off the computer to get outside and take her for a walk. She took very good care of her Papa and knew when he needed her most. As she started losing her hearing, she took to sleeping in the middle of the hallway to block him attempting to sneak by her unnoticed.
As I mentioned before, her favorite place in the world was laying on the front stoop to survey her world, and in her last days winter became her least favorite time because it meant we couldn’t leave the door open. She would drag herself in and out the dog door all night long because she was never in the right place…all she wanted was for us to open that damn door and let her be in the in between…with us and her world all at once. We would honor her wishes right up through October before we finally had to give into the cold. To make up for it, we started sleeping with her in the front room to keep her company in the hopes it would help bring her some peace. Watching her struggle and hearing her trip out the dog door, or up the one stair into the kitchen kept us from sleeping very well for weeks, but we couldn’t do anything other than be right there if she needed us.
In her last week she had started to have panic attacks that seemed to come out of no where. They scared her Dad to death, and I remember rushing home on a couple of occasions to comfort both of them. The morning we knew it was time, she started her day by going into a panic attack during breakfast, and it drove her out the door shaking and panting. I followed her out and she was leaning up against the gate as though she needed to go and there was nothing I could do to comfort her, or calm her quaking little self.
I had to go to work that day because it was my last week at my job, and I was training someone who had driven an hour to meet with me and it was too late to call her to cancel, so I told Jonathan to call me if he felt it I needed to come home. Walking away from her that morning was the second hardest moment in our time together. Having Jonathan call me a little over an hour later to let me know, “it was time” was definitely worse. We had a small hope that if we took her to the vet they might be able to suggest something to help with the panic attacks, but in the end the only thing left to do was say good-bye.
Port Hadlock Veterinary clinic was so wonderful, the women there brought in a big blanket so she could be comfortable on the floor, and we got down there with her and just buried our tears in her fur. They gave her a sedative first to help calm her down, and for the first time all morning she stopped shaking and relaxed. I was so grateful that they were able to make her peaceful first. When they administered her final shot I put my hand near her nose so I would be the last thing she smelled as she left this world. I felt as her breath slowly passed to nothing. Saying good-bye was by far the toughest thing I ever had to do for my girl, and when it was done, Jonathan and I went home and fell apart for three full days. She was everywhere in the house even though her beds were empty, and it killed a part of both our hearts to exist without her. Our pack was no longer three.
I’m grateful that I had one last walk with her at Fort Townsend, and one last walk at the Lagoon the weekend before she crossed the rainbow bridge…so many moments that I hope never to forget. I wrote this to make who she was known to all, but most of all to honor her existence. Since this blog is all about choice I couldn’t write one more thing here until I celebrated one of my favorite choices of all time
Things I want to always remember about the Keva (a working list)
Her full body wiggles of hello
Her beautiful smile
The way she would always saunter up to strangers with a grin and a wag to greet them
Her love of biting water
She would always do little front paw hops when she was excited about something
The could-not-take-her-eyes-off obsession she had with the chuck-it
Her ability to barely keep up with her excitement as she thundered down the 4 flights of stairs to the beach
Watching her watching her world from the stoop
How she used to sit on the edge of the kitchen, paws just barely over the edge and thump one foot and then the other to indicate “I want some of that” and “please”.
The way she would wade into the water holding a stick to tell me she wanted me to throw it for her
The “tump tump tump” of her tail on the wood floors in morning when we came out for breakfast
She never once woke us up to be fed in the morning, but the panting and stare down that signaled she wanted dinner AT 5:00
The full body stretches she would perform when we scratched her back and mooshed her face
Her full on FOMO that occurred when we would go to bed BEFORE a schwenker was over
Knowing that the floor would always be clean of food
Her undying love of popcorn…and the way she would hear the pan coming out of the cupboard and move into position at the edge of the kitchen until it was done
The way she slept sometimes with her ears straight up and her feet gathered together
How she banged open the door to check in on her Dad in the office
The countless photos I’d get from Jonathan around 4:30 PM of Keva impatiently staring him down in the time before dinner
The way she used to watch me pull out of the driveway from the window in our old apartment, and then (per a roommate who saw her do it) immediately climb up onto the couch once I was gone.
Her adoration of food…all food…every food.
Saving the best nibbles for her when we went out to eat.
Her excitement about Blue Moose bacon and corned beef
The way she used to announce visitors at our old apartment by running out of the house and then back in the dog door.
The way she followed Jonathan everywhere
The “Haawha Haawha” fake yawning noises she used to make when she was hungry
The smell of her paws, ears, and fur.
The 6:00 AM sunrise walks she’d take with me after the gym.
The big sighs and groans she would make as she laid on her bed after a long time in the car.
The way she used to downward dog and whap her paws on the ground, tail wagging when she was feeling playful.
The “kadunk kadunks” she would do in the water bowl when she first got back from a walk…full face wet up to her ears.
